


Pinkie Pie Saves the Day

by certs_up



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Cannibalism Via Cupcakes, Deliberate Badfic, Deliberately Bad Fanart, F/M, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/certs_up/pseuds/certs_up
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Pinkie Pie saved the day when Twilight Sparkle was sent to Ohtori Academy in "The Revolution Will Not Be Ponified." Deliberate badfic for (Unofficial) Bad Bang 5: Remixapalooza.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pinkie Pie Saves the Day

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Revolution Will Not Be Ponified](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6280156) by Anonymous. 



"Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie!" Spike was running in circles waving his arms in the air. Or since he was a dragon, he was probably waving his front legs in the air. Anyway, he was very upset.

Spike would do anything for Twilight Sparkle. Spike would follow her anywhere. Spike followed her when she went to cry on Celestia's shoulder after the library burned down, and so he heard Celestia telling Twilight Sparkle to take the magic ring and go to the castle in the sky, and to tell no one.

Obviously he couldn't go to Celestia for help, since she was the one packing Twilight Sparkle off to a place where she couldn't take her friends. Where she couldn't even TELL her friends! (Can you imagine it?)

So Spike ran off to tell Twilight Sparkle's friends so that they could run and save her like they always did.

But Celestia was working a magic spell so that Twilight Sparkle's friends would forget that she ever existed. Because the force of their friendship was so strong, it was very hard to make the spell. Celestia had to ensorcel one pony at a time. She made Rainbow Dash and Applejack and Rarity and Fluttershy forget. And then Celestia was EXHAUSTED.

"Oh well," she said, shrugging just like a human would. "It's not like Pinkie Pie really has half a brain anyway. It doesn't matter what she remembers. Or not." And Celestia stretched out and took a long nap.

So Spike had run to Rainbow Dash and Applejack and Rarity and Fluttershy to tell them that Celestia had sent Twilight Sparkle to a castle in the sky ALL BY HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK?!?! and they needed to go help her immediately. And Rainbow Dash and Applejack and Rarity and Fluttershy had each said, "Who? Twilight what? What are you talking about?"

Spike had left Pinkie Pie for last, because he knew as well as Celestia that she didn't really have half a brain anyway. But any port in a storm, as they say, and now Spike was running in circles waving his arms (front legs, whatever) in the air and shouting, "Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie Pie heard him shouting and looked out the window of the bakery where she worked. "Oh, Spike, it's terrible! I have a huge order for white cupcakes and I'm all out of white!"

"Terrible?!" said Spike. "What's TERRIBLE is that Celestia has sent Twilight Sparkle to a castle in the sky without telling anybody! None of her other friends want to go rescue her. Pinkie Pie, there's nobody but you!"

Pinkie Pie was torn. She wanted to help her friend. She wanted to! But she had her job. "And we're out of white!"

Spike had a plan. "I think Celestia said there was white in the castle in the sky," he said craftily.

"Oh-KAY, we are GOING THERE!" Pinkie Pie declared. She galloped right out of the shop and galloped and galloped, and Spike never would have kept up if he hadn't grabbed her tail and hung on with all the strength in his hands (or paws, or whatever).

When Pinkie Pie was out of breath she stopped. "So, where is this castle, anyway?"

Spike pointed to where he'd seen Twilight Sparkle disappear, and Pinkie Pie galloped on, because she was Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie didn't let herself be distracted by the weirdness of Ohtori Academy. "White, white, white!" she shouted. "I need white for my cupcakes!"

Spike was still holding onto her tail really hard. "Pinkie Pie, we came here to rescue Twilight Sparkle!"

"I'll do it with CUPCAKES!" Pinkie Pie declared, because she was just that awesome.

Just then Akio Ohtori walked by. He was headed to his duel with Utena. Pinkie Pie's vision panned up his beauteous but masculine form. And then she saw his hair. 

"WHIIIIIITE!" she screamed.

Even though his hair was as much lavender as white, it didn't matter. Akio never knew what hit him.

Utena had been trying to explain to Twilight Sparkle the importance of dueling as a prince, or like a prince, or for a prince, or even against a prince. She knew she wasn't doing a very good job of explaining, partly because she was so eager for the next duel, and partly because talking to a horse was really weird, and talking to a TALKING horse was even weirder. Suddenly, it was time.

Suddenly there was a voice. "Anyone want some CUPCAKES?!"

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed, relieved to see another quadruped at last.

"Is that yes or no?" Pinkie Pie asked.

The cupcakes were an irresistible white-lavender color, and Utena bit into one immediately. It was amazing.

"This tastes like victory," she murmured through a mouthful of Akio. Because of course Pinkie Pie had used him to make cupcakes.

Anthy was there and also accepted a cupcake. And although it _really did_ taste like her brother, she had the discretion not to say how she knew that.


End file.
